You can't special order awesome
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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