This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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