i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
