I'd wear matching sweaters with you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
