i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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