): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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