No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
