Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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