I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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