Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
