can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
