I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
