As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
