I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
