how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
