Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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