We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
