wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
