I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
