Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
