this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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