Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize