She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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