idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
