The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
