So drunk, too bad you don't want this
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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