The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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