Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
