Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
