I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
