Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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