guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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