I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We smell like vodka and hangover
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
