oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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