I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
