Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
