how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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