how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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