I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
