Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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