what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
