When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
