and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
