One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
