And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
