WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
