CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
