apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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