He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
