is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
