No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
