So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
