the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
