we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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