Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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