i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
